February 10, 2015
This is a scene at an Electicity Board Office in one of the cities in Tamil Nadu.
A person aged 63, enters into the office. This person is somewhat influential in the political circle. If not the most influential. He will be Our witness. He notices that there are almost close to 150 Single phase Electricity meter boxes lying at one corner end of the office. He sees a man sitting in a chair wearing a modern dress in front of the EB officer. A formally dressed middle class man with shoes, he seems to have come in the middle of going to the office. He seems to be a professional of some sort. The man witnessing this wants to meet the officer. He is supposed to give permission from Single phase to Three phase connections to those who want to apply. He will then give a Application form to fill which costs around Rs.100. The service availed is a small sophistication in the houses of the middle class people of India who are ready to afford as they move on in their phase of development in India. It is nothing when compared to where the world is moving but still in India getting a three phase connection certainly means that you are well off. The connection actually costs Rs.7000 and whatever deposit you have paid during your application of Single phase connection will be deducted and the rest only have to be paid to the EB office.
Whether you are a VIP in the society or any other person, you have to wait in a government office, which is an unwritten rule in the constitution of India. It is inevitable and a grave necessity. When you go to a government office, you should definitely get the feeling that the officers working there are Gods and you are there to get boons from them. If you don't get this feeling then it means that your job is not yet over. Whether they will give boons or not depends upon how badly you lose your self-esteem and how good you are at making them the most important entity in the job you expect from them.
Our witness is listening to their conversation waiting for his turn to come.
Our formally dressed person has got a soft voice. It seems that he is almost pleading the officer "Sir, oru Rs.3000 kurachikonga sir. Already material cost vera adigama irukku."
The officer said " Athellam mudiyadu sir, pathaayiram (Rs.10000) vechaa ungalukku connection immediata varum. Illana edatha kaali panunga sir. Summa en tiyatha (time) waste pannatheenga. Naraiya vela irukku sir."
The professional tries one more time. "Sir, ezhaayirame romba kastam. Eppadiyavadu ezhaayiram koduthiraen. Konjam consider pannunga sir."
Officer gets even more annoyed. "Yov, nee edatha kaali pannu yaa. Rs. 10000 illana onnum panna mudiyadu."
He points out to the person witnessing the scene. "Sir, vaanga. Sollunga. Enna vishayam."
Having lost in the battle of words our professional moves on and tells "Seri sir. Evening vandu koduthuren. Connection koduka sollunga. Konjam sekirom seidu kodunga, sir."
Officer reacts as though he did not hear one word. "Seri, seri evening vaanga. Naalu manikkulla vandudunga. Paakalaam" The professional is watched by our witness as he picks up his bag and moves out of the office. Our professional is unable to cover the shame of having lost the negotiation with the officer.
The influential person starts "Sir, Good morning. Nalla irukkeengala?"
Officer speaks out."Paravalla. Edo pogudu. Madam nalla irukaangala?" There is not even one sign in the face of the officer of having created an incident in the recent time. Switches over to the normal mood immediately.
Our witness clarifies "Hmm. Nalla irukaanga, sir. Councillor kitta nethu pesittu thaan vandaen. Konjam namma three phase connection paathu panunga sir."
Officer says " Sir, ungalukku illaadatha. Naalaike vandu connection koduka soleedren. Oru rendayiram(Rs.2000) mathirom nammakku kavaneenga sir."
Our witness doesn't mind much, "Seri sir. Romba nandri." He is infact satisfied after having witnessed the worst case.
Officer re-affirms "Sir,ungalukku illaadatha, vanthurum sir. Kavala padaama ponga. Councilora ketta da sollunga."
Our witness shows the courtesy "Kandippa solren sir. Apparom materialum, coolium eppadi sir."
Officer says " Athellaam namma lineman kitta pesikkonga. Avara kelunga soluvaaru. Intha application la mathirom madam kitta sign vaangitu vandu koduthirunga. Rs. 5900 katteerunga. Ippo Rs.2000 mathirom enkitta koduthirunga."
Lineman is standing outside. Our witness moves on to the line man. "Thambi, material, coolie ellam evlo paa agum."
Lineman says "Anna, namma veetukku material serthu Rs.32000 agum naa. Line kambathil irundu izhuthitu varanum. Selavagum naa. Coolie vandu, moonu per (3 persons) varuvaanga connection kodukaradukku. Rs. 2000/head varudu naa."
Our witness gets astonished "Enna paa. Ivlo solra. Konjam paathu sollu pa."
Lineman reacts " Naa, ungalukkaaga kammiyaadaan soleerukken."
Our witness says "Seri paa. Edo paathu sei. Namakku velaiya konjam sekaram senju kodu paa."
Lineman takes a dig "Naa, namala konjam kavaninga naa. Oru nooru rooba (Rs.100) tea selavukku kodunga naa."
Our witness is not much surprised. It is as though he expected this to pop up. "Inda. Eppo velaiya arambipeenga? Rendu naal apparom orukku poga vendiya velai irukku."
Lineman says " Naa, thappa nenaikaadeenga, kambam eranum oru ayiram rooba selavagum naa."
Our witness somewhat gets annoyed " Enna paa. Nenaichu nenaichu ketkara. Seri inda. Enakku aana velai immediata nadakanum."
Lineman with a somewhat happy face reacts " Naa, naalaikku material vandudum, adukku adutha naal connection evening kulla vandudum naa. Pasanga vandaa tea mathirom vaangi koduthirunga naa"
Our witness having got convinced says "Adu paathikaren."
Our witness was an influential person. He actually got his three phase connection in less than Rs.40000 and connection in 3 days. The bribe is only for this quick delivery of work. Imagine the formally dressed person. He told that he would give Rs. 10000 just to grease the palm of the officer. Here is what the actual bill would look like for our formally dressed person.
Officer bribe - Rs.10000, Connection fees - Rs.5900 (Assuming he had his single phase deposit reduced from fees), Material cost - Rs. 32000 ( assuming he has got a two floor house), Labour cost - Rs. 6000(3 persons), Tea selavu (Expense) - Rs. 250 (4 persons including lineman), Application cost - Rs.100, Lineman bribe - Rs. 1000. So totally this comes to about Rs.54000. Add the logistics cost as well from house to the EB office for I don't know how many times he would have been called for.
That is not just Rs. 54000, but a whooping Rs. 54000. Almost more than half a lakh for a three phase connection assuming our fella had a two floored house. This three phase connection is not such a latest technology sophistication.
The material cost would come down if our person had a independent single house, So it would take him Rs. 38000. Close to what our influential person got the connection for his two floored house.
We are living in the 21st century. Do we seem like living in one? We still have not developed integrity. Gee, I don't know how many of them really know the meaning of that word. What is the way out of this? You can't straight away blame the person greasing the palm. He is forced to do it. If he doesn't do it then he has to come to the office atleast 4 times, spend money for that. Then if he, let's say doesn't like greasing the palm and takes the officer to the court, there are two things which will happen. The court will keep analysing the case for years together and secondly, the person won't get the three phase connection until that. Imagine the court fees, advocate fees, logistics between house and court. To avoid all this, the professional not only bends to give away the bribe but also loses his self-esteem. What he gets out of this is the three phase connection at the expense of everything that he has earned till that time. If you don't give the Rs.6000/- on that day, you will probably have to spend one night without power. The officers are at the discretion of give power. Seeing all this our professional bends to the ways of the officer. All these are taken for granted.
There are only two rules. Either be influential, so that you can get away with some of the bribe or have hell a lot of money. Importantly don't hesitate to lose it, to live in India. When are we going to get out of this shit? This is why people get out of this damn country and settle down in other countries where such non-sense does not exist (I don't know, but definitely not like this for sure).
Remember, our witness saw almost 150 numbers of Electricity measuring meters lying in one corner. Imagine how much bribe our officer, lineman and the other persons would have got through this. We can only imagine, be happy with our single phase connection and content with whatever power we get. That itself is heaven.
Our country is what we are. Our country is what we want it to be.
-SATZ
